For the Love of Little Man

I can't believe William is 12 weeks old today.  While I can somewhat remember life before him ( I know it included showers, dinners out and later nights), I can't remember my heart before he came into our lives.  I tell people all the time that I literally can't articulate the love I have for my son.

I'm going back to work Monday, and we are incredibly fortunate to have fallen into a wonderful childcare situation.  We will be sharing a nanny with another family, and the babies will be at our house a few days a week and at another house the others.  I will get to see my son's face during the day and even sneak away for some love. 

It's unbelievable how something sneaks into your heart and grabs hold of it so tightly and so suddenly.  I watch him discover the world day by day- the littlest things make my husband and I giddy with joy.  He has started to discover his hands- the boy must be a genius!  These little moments and discoveries make our days.  We thrive on them, and on him- and of course have fallen into the new parent trap of ignoring one another.

For those who have children, you may have experienced this.  This little person comes into your life, and takes every bit out of you- in the most amazing way, but suddenly there's little left for anything else.  I suddenly overlook the man who gave me this beautiful son, and it's starting to show (she says, pondering her sweats and unbrushed teeth at 4 pm...). 

We've had to recalculate a bit, and quickly.  I had fallen into the Mommy trap, making it my one and only priority, and neglecting my other half.  When we started to slip, I remembered- that in order for our son to thrive in our household, Mommy & Daddy have to thrive.  Meaning...  a screaming and neglectful Mommy and Daddy equals misery for that most important little man.

I'd heard (and completely disagreed at the time) that a couple's relationship must come first, and the child second.  My over analytical brain shredded this one, thinking how is that even possible?  Baby must come first!  My husband can take care of himself!  How wrong I was.  My husband still needs to be nurtured and loved, and even taken care of.  We are learning to take care of each other in a different way, but I realized that it can't be as an afterthought.  Baby makes three, and the two that were there first still need to share their love and make room for one another.